Wind Beneath my Wings
by Genki
Summary: *grumble* I can never write these things. Rated R for language and graphic gore. Hitomi and Van have given each other a reason to live. Hitomi is plagued by horrible dream, but is it really just a nightmare? If it is what the future holds, will Van co


Title: Wind Beneath my Wings  
  
Author: Genki  
  
Rating: R (language, gore, and brief citrus scent in one scene)  
  
Genre: Agnst/Suspense/slight romance  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned them I wouldn't torture them so.  
  
Dedication: Mr. Larry Johnson, may his memory live on in the minds of   
those whose lives he touched. We all miss you ~Luv Gabby  
  
Summary: I suck at these things... *grumble* This is based off the movie since when I first started writing this I hadn't seen one episode of Escaflowne. Hell, I hadn't even heard of Esca until I saw the movie by freak chance at AX2000. Oh, and for those who don't know: Amano wasn't in the movie so he isn't in this fic. No buts! I ain't putting him in it!  
  
Warning: Character death, I ain't saying who.  
  
Second Warning: Slight FOX bashing, nothing big.  
  
Author Notes: I began this fanfic a year ago, but never finished. For those of you who read this on the Escaflowne Fanfiction ML this is a revised copy, I haven't changed much, though. If anything is confusing please either email me or leave it as a review. I'm considering writing a sort of epilogue. The only reason I haven't so far is that it would most likely be no longer than a page. Thank you for taking the time to read this.  
  
  
~*And now our feature presentation*~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Wind Beneath my Wings  
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The scent of settled soil drifted through the air. Streets, buildings, trees, everything was soaked from the night's storm. Clouds still hung in the sky, but no longer a bleak gray, now a shade of snowy white. As the day progressed, rays of sunlight dissipated the remaining clouds drifting lazily across the endless sky. Everyone normally in a hurry slowed down and took in the beauty of the refreshed Earth surrounding them.  
  
Hitomi Kanzaki jogged lightly down the sidewalk. She breathed deeply taking in the fresh air, cleansing her lungs. Birds were singing, the sun shining, and everyone was happy in the world. She passed a mother and her small child en route home. The mother glowed with sheer radiance as the small child held her hand and laughed joyously at nothing in particular, completely fascinated by nothing and everything all at once.  
  
'Life is beautiful, so very, very beautiful,' Hitomi thought with a content smile. She laughed at herself remembering the foreign film she had watched at the insistence of her friend and roommate, Zoe Shylocke. That movie certainly had been interesting. Funny, yet so sad. Shaking her head clear of memories she continued her jog.  
  
The air filled with the barking of dogs, the laughing of children and Hitomi couldn't help but smile. She had grown so much since that time all those years ago. That time when she had only wished to vanish. Hitomi sighed, the smile dropping from her face. Yukari had been there to help her through, even after all that Hitomi had said. Even when Yukari flew off to Canada to attend a University there, she never failed to call at least once a week. Hitomi grinned remembering the last conversation she and Yukari had. Yukari had found someone, someone who really made her happy.  
  
Although Hitomi truly felt elation for her friend's good fortune, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy as well. Her 'teenager's infatuation' on a boy from her past had evolved into pure love. She missed his face, battle weary, but oh so beautiful and bright when he smiled. She sighed; dwelling on the past would only make her miss the present. She no longer wished to vanish, but to live. To live... and love him. He had given her a reason a live, a reason to open her eyes in the morning. To welcome a new day with open arms. But she could never be with him. Just loving him would always be enough, though.  
  
Without a moment's warning, extreme pleasure bombarded her senses. She looked towards the ground that seemed to drift ever farther away. A dragon's bugle of complete and utter delight thundered throughout her mind. Hitomi smiled. Van had taken flight and held fast to her senses bringing her along for the ride. She sent him a warm feeling, signaling her gratitude and enjoyment of the flight sensation. That was the only way for them to communicate with one another: through feelings and images. Words never managed to cross the distance.  
  
She continued jogging, but her feet never felt as if they touched the ground beneath them. She felt him clutch her essence tighter against his body, molding himself what seemed like against her back, his entire length pressed against her. Hitomi bit back a moan that threatened to escape her lips. Was he torturing her on purpose? No, Van wasn't that cruel. I sly grin donned her lips as thoughts of them alone in a private chamber entered her mind. The grin fell and her half shut eyes tore open. She tried desperately to reclaim the lust-filled thought, but her attempts were in vain.  
  
Van's shock reached her first. Then a sensation of falling. Of falling and fast. Hitomi stumbled forward, the ground rushing up to greet her. She squeezed her eyes shut as a scream lodged itself in her throat. And in a moment's breath, Van had regained his composure and begun flapping again. He had missed collision with the forest below by a matter of a few feet. Hitomi stopped her jog and doubled over, trying to regain her lost breath.  
  
'Shit! Note to self: Never let Van know you're horny.' Hitomi laughed at the latter part of her thought. It seemed so out of character for her, then again, so did her suicidal thoughts from so long ago as well. Recovering her lost composure she stepped off the curb and begun her journey to the other side. Nearly halfway across she felt Van's mood turn roguish. Not long after, a very graphic image appeared in her mind's eye.  
  
Van lay above her in all his glory, grinning every bit like a cat that caught his mouse. Her breath came in short gasps as he proceeded to devour her neck in kisses. His very touch left trails of fire burning on her skin.  
  
Mocking anger, Hitomi pushed the image from her head and shoved it back to Van. Unfortunately she couldn't help the smile gracing her lips. Shaking her head at Van's joyous mood she continued her trek of the street.  
  
A blaring honk sounded off to her side; sunlight glinted off the metal blinding Hitomi's vision. Her heart raced in a frenzied panic as the car zoomed closer, never slowing, not heading the red light. Van did not know what could possibly move with such speed, all he knew was it would hurt his beloved, hurt her bad. He screamed her name, begged her to jump away from the beast hurtling towards her with such speed. She never heard. She couldn't move. Her vision filled with a white light, all view blocked. Just before the car would have slammed into her side, Van's anguished scream finally breached the barrier and she heard his voice for the first and the last time in ten years. Snapping to her senses, she unfurled her wings as a last ditch effort to escape a bloody and painful death. All was for naught, though, for her world turned bleak and dark in that split second.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hitomi bolted up in her bed, a small scream escaping from her mouth. A cold sweat having broken out on her forehead. She gulped hard as she slowly steadied her breathing down to soft intakes of air instead of harsh gasps. She closed her eyes and leaned forward slightly, resting her head in her right hand. It had been so real. Had it really been only a nightmare?  
  
Hitomi stared into the darkness of her room allowing her eyes to adjust. She shook her head trying to free herself from the remnants of what she hoped had been nothing but a nightmare. Wiping her brow with the back of her hand, she moved to stand up only to fall back to her mattress. "What the...?" Hitomi strained her neck to look behind her to see what was hindering her movement. Adorning her back were a pair of snowy white wings. The very same that had returned her to Earth.  
  
Hitomi sighed in relief that Zoe had not arisen to inspect the source of the scream. Hitomi gently folded her wings back into her body, once again hiding her secret, a feather stained crimson drifting unnoticed to the floor that disappeared as it made contact. Her torn pajama top could not be so easily remedied, though. She removed the shredded fabric from her body and hid it within the recesses of her closet, making a mental note to throw it away with the garbage later that day.  
  
An indignant shout from the other room caused Hitomi to take pause before realizing it was only Zoe at her normal, early morning routine. Wreaking just deserved havoc on "over-confident companies" as Zoe put it. Hitomi called it computer hacking and illegal. Shaking her head Hitomi quickly dressed and headed for the kitchen.  
  
"Hey Shakespeare! How the new plays going?" Hitomi called out to the girl hunched over a keyboard.  
  
"Like hell, FOX fixed that bug I put into their computers," Zoe grumbled. Hitomi only laughed and continued on her way to get some breakfast. Zoe's contempt for the American company wasn't a secret. How she managed to not be discovered as the disgruntled computer hacker attacking the company's system without mercy was beyond what Hitomi's mind could imagine.  
  
"So, was it that same dream?" Zoe asked, never diverting her gaze from her computer screen. Hitomi stopped mid sip of her orange juice, the contents in her mouth spraying onto the floor. Wiping her mouth and the sticky puddle off the floor, she answered back a shaky affirmative. She knew Zoe was only worried about her, but the girl's attention to detail was maddening.  
  
'But in a good way.' Hitomi added in after thought. Zoe had enough sense not to press the issue, at least.  
  
Hitomi, a piece of buttered toast in hand, walked back out of the kitchen and plopped down on the couch. The nightmare replaying itself in her mind. The playful banter she and Van exchanged, the oncoming car, his anguished scream of her name. Oh Gods, it had been so real!   
  
Van's worry filled her mind, demanding an answer to calm his unease. Hitomi assured him she was alright. She showed him an image of her lying on the couch, perfectly fine. She buried her feelings of anxiety over the dream from him. He needn't distress himself over what had probably no more than a nightmare concocted by an over-active imagination.  
  
His anger hit her full force. He would not be lied to. Hitomi held back a cry of despair and pain. His anger was physically hurting her. Van backed off. He would wait until she was ready. Hitomi thanked him as best she could without words and just lay there, thinking.  
  
Van sighed. Gods how he loved her. 'If anything should happen to her...' he couldn't complete the thought. Whatever had troubled her so he would see that it did not cause her harm. Even if at the cost of his own life.  
  
  
  
  
  
The dream returned again that very night, but it had changed. Something, something significant, was different.  
  
Everything looked the same. Life all around was renewed with the past night's storm. People were smiling, children laughing. She jogged down the street heading for home. Her senses took flight once more as Van soared through the skies, fell with him as he lost his concentration, and mock-scolded him for the very graphic image. His joyous mood filled her soul as she crossed the street, quite enjoying their 'conversation.'  
  
A blaring honk sounded off to her side; sunlight glinted off the metal blinding Hitomi's vision for a moment. Her heart raced in a frenzied panic as the car zoomed closer, never slowing, not heading the red light. Van did not know what could possibly move with such speed, all he knew was it would hurt his beloved, hurt her bad. He screamed her name, begged her to jump away from the beast hurtling towards her with such speed. She never heard. She couldn't move.  
  
'Oh God no! Not again, it's all the same!' This time though her sight was never blinded. Van's anguished scream finally breached the barrier and she heard his voice for the first and the last time in ten years. Snapping to her senses, she turned to see where the voice had come from. Van, his majestic wings spread and flapping madly, was rocketing towards her at an unimaginable speed. He reached her just before the car would have impacted her in the stomach. He shoved her to the side and the car smashed into him instead. Hitomi looked on in agony. She could hear bones shatter within his body, saw his skull crack as he was thrown to the pavement with extreme force, a grayish matter mixed with red blood flowing out of the wound. His beautiful wings twisted at an odd angle, obviously broken.  
  
She crawled towards his battered body. Praying to the high heavens he was alright, that she wasn't seeing his brain splattered across the street. She caressed his bloodied face with a shaking hand staining it crimson in the process. She shook his shoulder gently, begging him, pleading to God for him to wake. To tell her he was alright, that he was only pretending to be hurt. Beseeching him not to be dead. Tears flowed from her eyes in rushing rivers. Blood smeared across her face as she moved to wipe them away. His blood. His life. She lay her head on his chest, searching for a heartbeat, but knowing it did not exist anymore. She sat up straight and cupped his face in her hands.  
  
"No, don't you dare leave me Van. Damn it! You can't be dead!" She pounded a fist to his chest, willing it to start beating again. The organ remained silent, refusing to answer her pleas. Storm clouds formed overhead and broke open, soaking the two in rain. The blood refused to wash away. So she sat there alone. A Goddess and her forever lost dragon.  
  
  
  
  
"NO!" Hitomi screamed into the darkness. Tears streaming down her face. Zoe came rushing into her room and held the crying girl in her arms, petting her head, whispering soothing words into her ear.  
  
"Shh, Hitomi. It was just a dream. It's alright. It wasn't real," Zoe said as she rocked Hitomi back and forth, attempting to sooth her frazzled nerves. Hitomi continued on for a few more moments until only sniffles remained. Still shaking she clutched Zoe tighter seeking the strength and reassurance she so desperately needed.  
  
She could feel Van's worry at the edge of her mind, begging to know what had frightened her so. Hitomi shook her head against Zoe's shoulder slightly. She couldn't tell him. If Van knew, he might think it a vision of the future and would be determined to save her. If it were truly a vision... she would lose him forever to death's icy grasp. No, she couldn't and wouldn't tell him!  
  
Van growled his anger to the stars and with a feral roar that would have made the mightiest dragon cringe, he slammed his fist into the nearest wall. His knuckles came away scraped and bloodied. The wall faired not much better. Hitomi had better tell him soon or he would find a way to her and keep her under lock and key until whatever had her so terrified had passed.  
  
  
  
  
  
The nightmare continued to plague her for the next week. Each time more vivid, more gruesome, more painful. Keeping the images within the dream hidden from Van's psyche grew increasingly difficult. Finally she could no longer hold back the ghastly visions and Van glimpsed what had tortured Hitomi's soul for so long.  
  
The senses bombarded him without mercy. The metal beast racing towards Hitomi, she too frightened to move, himself flying with the utmost speed, praying he'd reach her in time. When the vision stopped he stood shaking. He couldn't lose her. Not when he could save her. His wings burst forth from his back and he took flight into the sky. He'd find a way. He would save Hitomi.  
  
Her heart begged with him not to come, but all in vain. He ignored the pleas and continued on his journey to find her once again. To save her as she had saved him.  
  
  
  
  
Hitomi hugged her arms to herself, her entire frame shaking. Van was coming. He would sacrifice himself to grant her a longer life. How could she have been so weak? How could she let him know? She held back the tears burning her eyes and continued home. She would keep him from dying. No matter the cost.  
  
She stopped at a curb and looked both ways before stepping off into the street. Her apartment just on the other side. Her shaking had subsided some as she made her way across. A shout of her name behind her caused her to turn sharply around a stare unbelievingly at the man who stood a mere twenty feet away.  
  
"Hitomi," Van whispered again. He stood stock still. Not believing his eyes. There she stood, the girl he fell in love with, now turned woman. Oh Gods how he had missed her beautiful face. The way her eyes sparkled at every new discovery. How her soft laugh always sent his heart fluttering. He couldn't budge, only stare and imprint her image on his mind forever. A horn shrieking in the distance broke both from the reverie they had fallen into. Everything seemed to slow down as both turned their heads to stare at the oncoming vehicle.  
  
'The metal beast from Hitomi's dream,' Van thought. He turned his head back to look at Hitomi as did she. She shook her head and mouthed, "No." He didn't heed her warning as he bolted from the sidewalk and rushed towards her at an agonizingly slow pace. He had to reach her in time. He had to.  
  
Hitomi couldn't move, her legs refused to remember how to function. She watched in horror as her dream replayed itself before her. Van couldn't die.  
  
'Please, don't let him reach me," Hitomi prayed, "don't let him die." Life would not be so kind. He would reach her. He would die. But only if she did nothing to stop him.  
  
"Hitomi!" Van screamed, his voice filled with agony. His scream brought Hitomi back to her senses, her legs moved once more. It was too late, only one could survive. She spread her legs and braced for impact. She looked him straight in the eye and mouthed, "I'm sorry." When it came not she, but he was thrown from harm's way. Van lay on the ground, shocked and horrified. He had failed and Hitomi would die.  
  
Time returned to normal in that split second, the car moved ever closer with greater speed. Hitomi had barely the time to turn and face it as it hit her head on in the stomach. Her eyes opened wide at the intense pain. She heard and felt her lower ribs shatter. She gagged and blood spurted from her mouth. The force of impact sent her sailing back into Van's waiting arms. How he had moved there so fast no one would ever know. All anyone would remember was the strangely dressed man who had kept a woman's head from smashing on the pavement.  
  
The car screeched to a halt and the driver rushed from the vehicle to see how much damage had been done.  
  
"Ah fuck!" the driver shouted. "Someone call for a damn ambulance and tell them to fucking hurry!" No one even noticed his choice of words as a few people from the crowd rushed off to call the hospital.  
  
Van couldn't see the crowd that had gathered. They stared and pointed. Some were crying, others covered the young children's eyes, not wanting them to see the carnage before them. He could only see Hitomi, blood dripping down her chin and crimson soaked clothes. He fell to the pavement unable to support both his and her weight any longer. He pulled her to sit in his lap and held her tight. He buried his face in her sandy brown hair as he rocked her back and forth as one would do for a small child. A siren in the distance blared to life, help was on the way.  
  
  
  
  
The doctor silently closed the door to the hospital room leaving Van alone to his thoughts with a comatose Hitomi. He saw Mrs. Kanzaki sitting off to one side in the waiting room, her arm around her crying son. He sighed, he didn't want to be the bearer of bad news, but it had to be done.  
  
"Mrs. Kanzaki? May I have a word with you in private?" the doctor asked as he approached the two. She nodded and released her son to walk with the doctor to his office. He didn't speak until after the door was shut. Before he could say anything Mrs. Kanzaki raised her hand silencing him.  
  
"Please, just... is she going to die?" she asked, her voice surprisingly calm. Maybe she just no tears left to shed, but whatever the reason extreme emotion would only distract her from the immediate issue at hand.  
  
"She's going to die." Three simple words, but their meaning held so much weight. Mrs. Kanzaki was going to lose her baby girl and nothing could be done. The doctor continued on. If she could take such news without breaking she could handle hearing why.  
  
"She has something known as an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm. It's an abnormal widening of the abdominal portion of the aorta. The aneurysm ruptured and we can't stop the bleeding." The doctor stared at the floor unable to look Mrs. Kanzaki in the eye. "This disease is very rare in children, but blunt abdominal trauma can result in it as it does in Hitomi's case."  
  
Mrs. Kanzaki squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't help but wonder that if the car had hit Hitomi anywhere other than her stomach that she might have a chance at life. She shook her head. Thoughts like that had no place in this moment in time. For now, she had to say goodbye to her daughter before she lost her forever. No more words passed between Mrs. Kanzaki and the doctor as she slipped from the office and down the hall to see her daughter. To say her final goodbye.  
  
  
  
Mrs. Kanzaki stood in the doorway, her son a little farther in the room. He had ceased his crying, but the stains remained on his cheeks completely forgotten. That strange man that had been brought in with Hitomi sat by her side refusing to release his grasp of her hand. Normally the hospital would have never have allowed anyone but family, but she had insisted. He obviously meant something to her daughter if the reports from those there were accurate. No one could understand him, though, and he them.  
  
Van turned his head to view the room's new occupants. Hitomi's mother and brother. With a sad sigh he reluctantly released Hitomi's hand and stood. He grabbed a book resting at her side and proceeded to Hiromi's mother. He handed her the book. She stared at him quizzically for a moment before looking down at the book in her hands and read the title. "A Girl in Gaea."  
  
"This is the book Hitomi wrote, but what..." Mrs. Kanzaki said returning her gaze to Van, but he cut her short indicating she was to open the book to the beginning. She did so and saw the inscription written to her from Hitomi. The letter read as follows:  
  
Dearest Mother,  
It is hard for me to write this, but I must. The doctors haven't said anything to me yet, but I already know the truth. I'm dying so I must be brief. I know you remember every detail of my story, but what you do not know is that I am the girl and this adventure truly happened. The man before you is the boy in the story, the one I fell in love with all those years ago. I know this is hard to believe, but as my last wish do not stop him from what he is about to do. I love you Mama, even the little squirt. I'll be watching over you.  
Forever your loving daughter,  
Hitomi  
  
Shaking Mrs. Kanzaki looked up to stare at Van standing before her. Tears stood in his eyes. He had failed her as he had failed Hitomi. He awaited his punishment he so rightly deserved.  
  
Mrs. Kanzaki moved to stand closer to him. She stared into his eyes searching. She brushed aside the midnight hair that had fallen in front of his face blocking her view. Tilting her head to the side she finally smiled. She had found what she hoped was there. Without warning she drew Van into a warm, motherly embrace.  
  
"I know you can't understand me, but thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart," she whispered in his ear. She released him and stepped back. Van nodded. He would never know what had been uttered to him, but he would always understand that he was forgiven. Now and forever.  
  
A soft sniffle to his right caused him to turn. He smiled as he saw Hitomi's little brother trying his best to brave, to not cry. Van moved to stand before the boy and bent slightly at the waist to be more at height with the younger lad.  
  
"Cry if you must, little one," Van said softly, knowing the boy would not understand him, but he continued on, "but do not fear. The story does not end with the loss of one life. New pages are there to be read, don't forget to turn them." Hitomi's brother stared at him oddly, trying to translate any of what Van had said, but no such luck. In the end he threw his arms around Van's neck hugging him tight before releasing him. Van smiled and ruffled the boy's hair. He liked this kid. Hitomi had a wonderful family.  
  
Van turned away from the two and walked back to Hitomi's side. He smiled down at her before closing his eyes in concentration. Soft wings of white burst forth from his back shredding his shirt. Two quiet gasps could be heard from the other end of the room. He flapped his wings lightly to relieve the stiffness in them before scooping Hitomi into his arms. He held her close to his body before walking to the window. Just before he jumped from the window sill he turned and waved his final farewell to Hitomi's mother and brother. Mentally he wished them a good life filled with enough joy to at least fill the void this surely left in their hearts. Taking a deep breath he jumped and began the long journey home to Gaea.  
  
  
  
  
He lay her down on his bed trying to make her as comfortable as possible. She had awakened during the flight and now lay gazing at him with calm eyes. He sat beside the bed holding her hand noticing how weak her grip was becoming. He could stand it no longer. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head against her chest. He cried into the hospital clothes, soaking them. Hitomi merely smiled gently and stroked his head. After a few moments he sat up a little more and pressed his forehead to hers. They both closed their eyes and breathed deep each other's scent, putting it to memory. No words were spoken and none needed to be. Hitomi and Van sat there for a few more moments, a bright flash of light in the corner of the room going unnoticed.  
  
Hitomi's faltering breath broke the reverie they had fallen into. With a deep, shuddering intake of breath Hitomi fell back against the pillow behind her. She let the breath out softly, a small smile adorning her lips. Van smoothed back her hair and left his hand there, cupping her cheek.  
  
The wailing cry of a newborn sounded from where the light had flashed earlier. Van released Hitomi's hand and moved to cradle the child in his arms. The Goddess's finally gift to this world she had helped saved. Her legend and child.  
  
Deep, rolling thunder sounded in the distance, rising into the sharp bugle of a horn. Another one answered and another after that. The dragons of the land were mourning Hitomi's death. The calls continued on into the night. All of them vocalizing the same phrase:  
  
"The Goddess of Wings is dead. Long live her legend."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
The End  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
So what y'all think? Good, bad, burn it right away and erase from memory *grin*? As a side note, I did research the aneurysm thing so my information is accurate. It is not entirely known what cause it, but in children severe abdominal trauma has the potential to cause the type of aneurysm I mentioned. I also had a teacher die of Cerebral aneurysm, the one I dedicated this to. He was the third teacher my math class had that year and we knew him for only six weeks. I don't think I've ever learned more in my entire life than I did in that short time. So yeah, the info on the medical info is accurate. If the bleeding can't be stopped you kinda die. I probably went out on limb at some points, but hey, poetic license. Ah, I love that thing. A writer's best friend. If anyone is confused on something, please email me and I'll answer your question. If a certain question gets asked enough(I'm not saying what) I might put out the small, sorta sappy epilogue I have written somewhere. It be very short, probably not even a page. Anywho... *grin* Latah peeps! Peace, love, and luck!  
~Genki~ 


End file.
